A friend tried to share a worrisome experience with me, and in my attempt to connect, I almost forgot to listen and made her experience worse.Read More
As a weekly contributor to Forbes for nearly the last two years, Lelia regularly shares her insights into career fulfilment, negotiation, and workplace dynamics for women. Her work had been translated into 6 languages and published in 13 countries.
Interested in a specific area? Check out the topics below.
If you write online, these three tools will be invaluable when you're next asked to provide quick turnaround on a new article, send over media clips, or share resources on a particular topic.Read More
There’s a lot of great content about how to research your market value and understand your worth, but just having the data isn’t enough. You have to believe you’re worth it.
Many of us struggle with feelings of self-worth, asking ourselves, “Do I really deserve what I’m asking for?” Personally, it took me years to get comfortable naming my speaker fee without immediately discounting it.
Here are three key tools to get comfortable with naming your value:Read More
When I was a teen making to-do lists, “Make to-do list” was always the last thing I included so that I could immediately mark something off. It was the free space on my to-do list bingo card.
I still rely on to-do lists to get stuff done, but it’s complemented by a list I like far more – my ta-da list, comprised of all the things I accomplished that day.Read More
A few weeks ago, I received an automated out of office (OOO) email reply that was so good I immediately wanted to work with the sender. A colleague had e-introduced me to Kristine Sloan, the CEO of StartingBloc, and Sloan’s automated reply was my first communication with her.
Next time I write an OOO, instead of just giving the dates by which people can expect a reply, here are three ways I’ll try to use Sloan’s model to up my game.Read More
Last week, public speakers from across the country assembled in Phoenix, AZ for Brand Lab, a retreat the National Speakers Association designed to help attendees hone their personal brands.
After two and a half days of workshops and feedback sessions, I identified three common themes among industry leaders who are effectively using their personal brand to connect with clients.Read More
Going to a conference can feel a bit like the first day of high school. You’re nervous about what to wear, you expect to absorb a ton of new information, and you really hope people like you.
Whether I’m there to give a keynote or cover the event as a writer, a big part of my job is attending conferences. Fortunately, I like them.
I recently attended the National Speaker Association (NSA) Brand Lab in Phoenix, AZ and noted some of my favorite strategies to make the most of conferences and make them feel less awkward.Read More
A client recently reached out to tell me she was “in a pickle.” She’d gotten a job offer with a salary that was 43% more than she’d made in her last position and she felt torn about whether or not to negotiate for more. She texted me, “My gut says NEGOTIATE and make Lelia proud, but my head says the salary is awesome and appropriate.”
This kind of “pickle” comes up often for my clients. There’s a tension between being happy with the offer and the feeling that they “should” negotiate.
As she worked through her feelings, she realized she felt a responsibility to negotiate. Even though this was a fantastic salary offer, campaigns telling her to “lean in” and “#ask4more” made her feel guilt and self-doubt about accepting the role as offered. These well-intentioned campaigns can make women feel like gender bias and ending the wage gap are their responsibility to fix, when they’re actually systemic problems we have to navigate. Here’s how we should approach it instead.Read More
When negotiating at work, it helps to practice. You don’t want the first time you say the words out loud to be in a high stakes meeting with your counterpart. If you haven’t prepared, you run a high risk of negotiation word vomit. Role play with a trusted friend, partner, or advisor to help you find language that is comfortable, authentic – and will make your case more convincing.
There are four types of practice negotiations to try with your role play buddy, each of which will help you ace the real deal.Read More
Recently, I’ve felt stuck. This wasn’t paralyzed-by-self-doubt stuck or even exhausted stuck, though those happen to me too. This time, I felt stuck in a whirlwind with so many potential next steps to choose from. I was left overwhelmed and unsure where to begin.
Here’s the thing: if I think all of my next steps need to be perfectly crafted, I end up paralyzed with perfectionism, reluctant to take any steps at all. Here's where the Imperfect Action Plan comes in.Read More
A recurring theme at women’s conferences is the narrative that “women just need to be confident.”
If confidence were a switch in our brains that we could flip on, this well-intentioned advice would be transformative. Since it’s not exactly a binary system that we can activate – confident vs unconfident – it’s worth considering why women’s professional confidence might be a little shakier than our male counterparts’. (Hint: it’s not just you.)
You’ve probably heard of accountability buddies (people who help one another stay motivated and on track) but what do those relationships look like in action, and how do you become a good one?
Based on experience with two of my favorite accountability buddies, here are three steps to developing these somewhat magical symbiotic partnerships.Read More
Can a 22-year-old authentically consent to a sexual and romantic relationship with a boss who wields power over her career and is decades her senior? Monica Lewinsky used to think so, but now she isn't sure. I'm not either.Read More
For me, the worst part of being upset is this completely irrational expectation that I will feel that way forever. I can’t see past my current emotions to recognize their fluidity.
In those moments of intense emotion it can be hard to remember that how you feel right then is not how you’ll feel for the rest of your life.
Here are tools that can help you navigate those more challenging emotions, maintain perspective – and keep your job.Read More
“Naming and shaming have their place,” says Oscar winner Mira Sorvino, but she wants policy change too.
Thrilled to share my conversation with actor Mira Sorvin and attorney Noreen Farrell about the #TakeTheLead campaign and toughest suite of anti-sexual harassment legislation in the country.
I was impressed by Sorvino's policy acumen and insights into the #MeToo and Time's Up moment and am tremendously inspired by Farrell's decades of advocacy on these issues. Definitely a fun one to write.Read More
Meika Hollender is fond of saying that she co-founded her sexual wellness company because, “...like most young women, I always dreamed of starting a vagina-friendly condom company with my dad. No? Just me?”
I sat down with Hollender to hear more about her inspiration for her new book, the term “orgasm equality”, and how Donald Trump’s election is making people more sex-positive.Read More