3 Ways To Boost Your Mood In A Global Pandemic
This article was originally published by Forbes and is reprinted here with permission.
When friends ask my partner and me how we’re doing, my partner says something to the effect of: Better than most. We’re grateful to be safe and comfortable at home. Also, this sucks and I hate it.
For a while, I’d reply, “We’re doing ok!(?) 🤷🏻♀️”
It seems like we’ve all reached this point of gloomy frustration. In conversations with clients, colleagues and friends these last few weeks, people describe a repetitive slog, a “blah-ness” or, to use an SAT word, ennui.
It’s a lot.
These 3 mindset shifts have helped me keep perspective and keep moving through.
1. It’s ok to think, “This sucks and I hate it.”
Especially as many of us are more deeply exploring our relative privilege, it can be difficult to give ourselves space to grieve for our old lives and acknowledge the challenges we now face.
Instead, we engage in “comparative suffering”: minimizing our own experience because someone else has it worse. Let’s be clear: this is not helpful.
Research professor Brené Brown writes, “...fear and scarcity immediately trigger comparison, and even pain and hurt are not immune to being assessed or ranked. [However,] the refugee in Syria doesn't benefit more if you conserve your kindness only for her and withhold it from your neighbor who's going through a divorce.”
Suffering is suffering, team. There’s no need to compare. Feeling guilty because you feel terrible doesn’t benefit those who have it harder. Saying, “This sucks and I hate it” is totally allowed.
2. For better or worse, the landscape will keep evolving. So can you.
In the coaching community I lead, a client recently expressed her frustration, saying “Usually once you’ve been doing something for 4.5 months, you’re better at it.” Why isn’t this happening now? Probably because, despite us dealing with the pandemic for nearly half a year, the landscape has changed dramatically every few weeks.
Again, Brené Brown offers powerful perspective, this time about “FFTs” (effing first times). She describes the uncertainty and fear that arises when we’re doing something brand new as a natural part of FFTs.
Since we don’t have relevant experience or expertise the first time we do something, we can flounder a bit. Whether we’re speaking on stage for the first time or navigating our first global pandemic, we can’t expect ourselves to know how to respond perfectly.
What’s worked for you in the past, before or even during the pandemic, won’t necessarily work in the future. I went through phases of enthusiastic cookie baking, then sudoku puzzling, and later drawing for self-care. Each routine worked for a while, until it didn't.
Recently, I’ve recognized my grief at the loss of travel, which had provided a regular reset in my personal and professional life. With no keynotes or vacations on the horizon, I’ve craved something to look forward to.
I’ve started blocking my calendar for half-day trips to the beach. I’ve already started planning a (virtual) Halloween party, since planning parties and costuming are among my favorite activities.
Since pandemic malaise can feel relentless, it can be powerful to adapt your routine or safely change scenery. Remember, you’ve never been five months into a global pandemic before (a total FFT). We’re all adapting to a profoundly different way of life.
You may need to explore new strategies for everything from self-care and entertainment to productivity. Be gentle with yourself and don’t expect yourself to adapt immediately.
3. Self care: if not now, when?
As we discussed various strategies to navigate the new demands at work and home, a client asked our coaching community, “If you’re not going to take care of yourself in a global pandemic, when are you going to?”
If ever there was a time to listen to the needs or our minds and bodies, this is it.
As a level-11 extrovert, I have never in my life craved alone time to the extent I do now, so it took me a while to realize that was what I needed. For weeks, I’ve felt like I’m either a worker, a mom, or vegetable–just numbing out and watching TV.
Once I realized what I needed, I asked for help and have been privileged to take time and space to be truly by myself, whether in nature or another room of the house.
Tune into what you need right now, ask for support when possible, and expect that your needs will change.
Finally, try to notice the simple pleasures that are most meaningful to you in this period of uncertainty. They can serve as loving anchors to the joys that still exist in daily life. Here are a few of mine.
The “Happy Friday” text I share every week with my friend Molly
My new eyebrow goop
Rewatching my favorite scene in the movie Palm Springs
Drinking watermelon tea from my whale coffee mug – the tail is the handle!
This quote from a 4-year-old named Lou via @livefromsnacktime
As we each navigate this simultaneously ever-changing and monotonous new reality, remember that it’s ok to feel your feels, to continue to adapt, and take such good care of yourself.