If you’ve seen me speak or checked out the new website, you know that one of my greatest frustrations is how as women, we’re constantly told we’re doing it wrong -- variations on lean in, or overcome a confidence gap, or act like a man. According to every listicle out there, all of our challenges in the workplace are somehow our fault. If you know me, you also know that I think that’s nonsense.
This week, Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire and PowerToFly published this piece by the brilliant Marie Elizabeth Oliver about my approach to making work work for women when it comes to negotiations. Would love to hear what you think in the comments!
Why You're Better At Negotiating Than You Think
An expert with more than 10 years of experience helping women navigate workplace issues dishes on how to get the confidence to ask for what you want
Whether it’s a deodorant commercial or a well meaning self-help article, it’s impossible to ignore the blaring message—women are not good at negotiating. We use all the wrong words, or the wrong tone. We don’t have the right role models. We don’t get the same positive reactions as men do. And ultimately, it’s our fault we don’t make more money because we don’t do a good job of asking for it. There’s enough negative cacophony out there to drown out even the most empowering Beyoncé lyrics.
But what if I told you, you are actually very good at negotiating? Lelia Gowland, a negotiation consultant who specializes in helping women achieve career success on their own terms, says the real problem isn’t that women aren’t good at negotiating, it’s that they don’t recognize it. “There are so many messages we’re getting about how we’re doing it wrong,” she says. “When instead we should be looking at a negotiation, not as an obstacle course that there’s only one right way to complete, but as an organic conversation.” Gowland shared these tips for slaying your next career negotiation.